i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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