you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize