i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
