like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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