Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the day after is always just damage control
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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