Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
