Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
