I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
foreskin is a definite game changer
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
