i will never coherently bang her
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
