i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
