Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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