in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
