And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
