I want to walk on stilts...naked
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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