id be glad to
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
