I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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