My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
