We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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