Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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