I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize