I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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