i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize