Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
