why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
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