Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
