i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
