She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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