she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sorry about my life...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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