so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
