You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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