Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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