I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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