i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
