Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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