All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
