somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
