Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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