I think my vagina is haunted
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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