I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You smell like a Billy Joel song
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
