i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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