i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
