chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
