So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
nutella sex= disaster
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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