I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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