ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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