hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
