you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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