he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
