I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
