There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
