Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
