are you so shy because you have an std?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Im part way to drunk.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize