I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
