If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
