so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
