Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
home. puking in laundry basket.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize