Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
