I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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